My Stupid Acts

Posts Tagged ‘news’

The doctor called Mrs. Levitra prescription Cooney over and gave her the news. “I’m afraid your husband has a very serious illness. Viagra prescription In fact, it might be fatal.

There are two things you have to do to save his life. Purchase viagra First, you’ll have to fix him three home-cooked meals a day for the rest of his life. And second, you’ll have to make love to him every day without fail.”

“I’ll break the news to him myself,” she said.

Stepping across the waiting room to her husband Mrs. Cooney announced, “Guess what, Cooney. You’re gonna die!!”

An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?”

Patient: “Well, give me the bad news first.”

Doctor: “You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.”

Patient: “Oh no! That’s awefull! In two years my life will be over! Levitra prescription Viagra prescription Purchase viagra What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this??”

Doctor: “You also have Alzheimer’s. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.”

The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door.

“We’re sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Purchase viagra Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife.”

“Well, tell me!” the man said. Levitra prescription Viagra prescription

The policeman said, “We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?”

Fearing the worse, Mr. Wilkens said, “Give me the bad news first.”

So the policeman said, “I’m sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in San Francisco Bay.”

“Oh my god!,” said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, “What’s the good news?”

“Well,” said the policeman, “When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on her.”

“If that’s the good news than what’s the great news?!”, Mr. Wilkens demanded.
The policeman said, “We’re going to pull her up again tomorrow morning.”