My Stupid Acts

Posts Tagged ‘kids’

At a friend’s wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle. Levitra prescription Viagra prescription

The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. Purchase viagra When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, “I was just trying to be a good ring bear.”

A Catholic, a Baptist, and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families. Purchase viagra

“I have four boys and my wife is expecting another. One more son and I’ll have a basketball team!” said the Catholic.

“That’s nothing!” said the Baptist. ”I have ten boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. Levitra prescription One more son and I’ll have a football team!”

“You both should be ashamed of yourselves!” said the Mormon. Viagra prescription ”I have seventeen wives. One more and I’ll have a golf course!”

A te acher w Levitra prescription as giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Viagra prescription

Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.”

“Yes,” the class said. Purchase viagra “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary positions the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”

A little fellow shouted, “Because your feet aren’t empty.”

These 4 gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee. Levitra prescription

“My son Kent,” says one, “has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He’s so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift.”

The second man, no to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. Viagra prescription “Norm’s so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift.”

The third man’s son, Greg, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.

As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in. Purchase viagra

“To tell the truth, I’m not very pleased with how my son turned out,” he replies. “For 15 years, Chico’s been a hairdresser, and I’ve just recently discovered he’s gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates.”

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. Viagra prescription One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny’s father to ask him for her hand. Purchase viagra

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says ” Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.”

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, “Well, Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?” !

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies “In Jenny’s room. It’s bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.”

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, “Okay then how will you live? You’re not old enough to get a job. You’ll need to support Jenny.”

Again, Bruce replies instantly, “Our allowance.. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That’s about 60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine.”

By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Bruce has put so much thought into this. Levitra prescription He thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Bruce won’t have an answer to.

After a second, Mr. Smith says, “Well, Bruce, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?”

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says “Well, we’ve been lucky so far…”

Mr. Smith doesn’t think the little shit is adorable anymore