My Stupid Acts

Posts Tagged ‘hospital’

There was a little boy whose mother was about to have a baby. Viagra prescription One day, the little boy walked in and saw his mother naked. He asked his mother what the hair between her legs was.

She responded, “It’s my wash cloth.”

Weeks later, after the mother had her baby, the young boy walked in on his mother again. Purchase viagra While she was in the hospital the doctor had shaved her pubic hair.

The boy asked, “What happened to your wash cloth?”

The mother responded, “I lost it.”

The little boy, trying to be helpful, set out to find his mother’s washcloth.

A few days later, he ran to his mother yelling and screaming, “I found your washcloth.”

The mother, thinking that the child was just playing, went along with the boy and asked, “Where did you find it?”

The boy answered, “The maid has it! Levitra prescription She is washing Daddy’s face with it.”

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient’s room.

He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Levitra prescription Purchase viagra

Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. Viagra prescription

The patient replied, “Can’t you see I’m sawing this piece of wood in half?”

The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing.

Patient #1 replied, “Oh. He’s my friend, but he’s a little crazy. He thinks he’s a lightbulb.”

The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2′s face is going all red.

The doctor asks Patient #1, “If he’s your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself”

Patient #1 replies, “What? And work in the dark?”

A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed.

Regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless practical joker, sitting at his bed side. Purchase viagra

He asked his brother how his wife was doing and his brother said, “Don’t worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. Levitra prescription

But the hospital was in a real hurry to
get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you.”

The husband was thinking to himself, “Oh no, what has he done now?” and asked with some trepidation, “Well, bro, what did you name them?”

Whereupon, his brother replied, “I named the little girl Denise.”

The husband, relieved, said, “That’ s a lovely name! Viagra prescription And what did you come up with for my son?”

The brother winked and replied, “Denephew.”

A hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital
where Purchase viagra his teenage son was about to have an operation. Levitra prescription

Watching the doctor’s every move, he asked, “What’s
that?”

The doctor explained, “This is an anesthetic. After
he gets this he won’t know a thing.”

“Save your time, Doc,” exclaimed the man. Viagra prescription “He don’t
know nothing now.”

Susie’ s hu sband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months. Things looked grim, but she was by his bedside every single day. One day as he slipped back into consciousness, he motioned for her to come close to him. She pulled the chair close to the bed and leaned her ear close to be able to hear him.

“You know” he whispered, his eyes filling with tears, “you have been with me through all the bad times. Levitra prescription When I got fired, you stuck right beside me. Viagra prescription When my business went under, there you were. When we lost the house, you were there. When I got shot, you stuck with me. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. “And you know what?”

“What, dear?” she asked gently, smiling to herself. Purchase viagra

“I think you’re bad luck.”

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. Levitra prescription

His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and t hen he fell asleep again. Purchase viagra

His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. Viagra prescription A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You’re cute!”

Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.”

She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”

His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”