My Stupid Acts

Archive for the ‘Short Jokes’ Category

Father: Son, what are your results in the end of term examination Viagra prescription ?

Son: Underwater.

Father: What do you mean, underwate r Purchase viagra ?

Son:
.
.
.
.

Below “C” level.

One seventy year old man says,”I have this problem, I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee.”

An eighty year old man says, “My case is worse. Levitra prescription I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement.”

The ninety year old man says, “At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I crap like a cow.”

“So what’s your problem?” asked the others. Viagra prescription Purchase viagra

“I don’t wake up until nine.”

It was Christmas time and this woman invited all her family to Viagra prescription her house to eat. So they gat hered around the table and she asked Purchase viagra her son to pray. Levitra prescription

He said: “But I do not know what to say.”

She said: “Say what I said this morning.”

So he said: “Dear God, why did I invite all these people to my house?”

A scruffy young man was questioned by one of New York’s finest for
peddling dirty pictures. Viagra prescription “But you’re mistaken,” said the kid. Levitra prescription Purchase viagra “These
pictures aren’t dirty.”
Selecting one, the policeman said, “Do you mean to tell me this
isn’t a dirty picture?”
The young man responded, “Don’t be such a prude, officer!
Haven’t you ever seen five people in love?”

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has Clock Tower
when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Viagra prescription
Sardarji says “Yes”.
“Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder.” The man took the
thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji
figured he was taken for a ride. Purchase viagra On the next day the Sardarji is again
walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the
clock. Levitra prescription “Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder.”
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says “I am not a fool.This
time, you wait and I’ll go get a ladder.”

The rather broad lady went to the theatre a little before the performance started and gave the usher Purchase viagra two tickets. “Where’s your companion?” asked the usher. Levitra prescription “Well,” said her, with a blush, “you see, one seat is a little too small for me and pretty uncomfortable so I decided to get two. But they’re both really for me.” “Fine with me, mam,” the usher replied, scratching his head. “There’ s ju Viagra prescription st a slight problem. You see, your seats are numbers 52 and 61.”

A man goes into a doctor’s surgery and says, “Help! I think I’m a moth!”

The doctor says, “Well, I can’t help you, I’ m only a GP. Viagra prescription Purchase viagra You need the psychiatrist next door. Levitra prescription Why on earth did you come to me?”

And the man says, “Your light was on.”