Out Of The Mouths Of Babes…
Teacher Debbie Moon’s first graders were discussing a picture of a
family. One little boy in the picture had a different colour hair than
the other family members. One child suggested that he was adopted and a
little girl said, “I know all about adoptions because I was adopted.”
“What does it mean to [...]

As a drunk guy staggers out of the bar one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing.
Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until eventually he collapses, gasping for breath.
In a last act of desperation he shouts after the fire engine, “If that’s [...]

New Boyfriend
One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her
parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket,
motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.
Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their
concern. “Dear,” said the mother diplomatically, “he doesn’t seem very
nice.”
“Oh please, Mom,” replied the daughter, “if he wasn’t nice, [...]

Little Johnny rushes home from school. He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen. She says, “Put that away Johnny! You can’t have ice cream now. It’s too close to supper time. Go outside and play.”

At a friend’s wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.
The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, “I was just trying to be a good ring bear.”

A guy and his dog go into a barroom. The bartender says, “Hey, get that dog out of here… we don’t allow dogs in here.”
Wait a minute, the guy says, “This is no ordinary dog ! This is ‘Plato’ the talking dog !”
“Yeah, sure” says the bartender.
I’ll prove it to you,” says the [...]

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer asks her some questions:
Officer: What’s 2 + 2?
Blonde: Ummm… 4!
Officer: What’s the square root of 100?
Blonde: Ummm… 10!
Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?
Blonde: Ummm… I dunno.
Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.
The blonde goes home [...]

A hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital
where his teenage son was about to have an operation.
Watching the doctor’s every move, he asked, “What’s
that?”
The doctor explained, “This is an anesthetic. After
he gets this he won’t know a thing.”
“Save your time, Doc,” exclaimed the man. “He don’t
know nothing now.”

Suspicious about her husband cheating on her, the blonde quickly bought a gun. When the blonde got home, she found her husband with another woman. Upset, the blonde took out the gun and pointed it towards her head. The husband begged her not to shoot herself. Then the blonde yelled, “Shut [...]

An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running.
A month later he returns to the dealer to get another [...]

Three Dumb Hunters

Three dummies decide to go hunting. The first one says he’s going to get a buck. He goes out, and indeed comes back with a buck. The other two hunters ask how he did it. He says, “I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get buck.”

Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office. John to George: “Man, I dated her last Tuesday and [...]