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The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door.

“We’re sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Purchase viagra Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife.”

“Well, tell me!” the man said. Levitra prescription Viagra prescription

The policeman said, “We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?”

Fearing the worse, Mr. Wilkens said, “Give me the bad news first.”

So the policeman said, “I’m sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in San Francisco Bay.”

“Oh my god!,” said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, “What’s the good news?”

“Well,” said the policeman, “When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on her.”

“If that’s the good news than what’s the great news?!”, Mr. Wilkens demanded.
The policeman said, “We’re going to pull her up again tomorrow morning.”

A young couple decided to wed.

As the big day approached, Viagra prescription they grew apprehensive.

Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.

The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice.

“Father,” he said, “I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage.”

His father replied, “Don’t you love this girl?”

“Oh yes, very much,” he said, “but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I’m afraid that my fiance will be put off by them.”

“No problem,” said dad, “all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed.”

Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.

The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom.

“Mom,” she said, “When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful.”

“Honey,” her mother consoled, “everyone has bad breath in the morning.”

“No, you don’t understand,. My morning breath is so bad, I’m afraid that my fiance will not want to sleep in the same room with me.”

Her mother said simply, “Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While the family is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you’ve brushed your teeth.”

“I shouldn’t say good morning or anything?” the daughter asked. Purchase viagra

“Not a word,” her mother affirmed.

“Well, it’s certainly worth a try,” she thought.

The loving couple were finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well.

That is, until about six months later. Levitra prescription Shortly before dawn one morning, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off.

Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, wakes his bride and without thinking, she asks, “What on earth are you doing?”

“Oh, my,” he replies, “you’ve swallowed my sock!”

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Levitra prescription Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. Viagra prescription Purchase viagra The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, “I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.”

After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again and again they went right through. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through and she turned to the other woman and said, “Milllie! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!”

Millie turned to her and said, “Oh, am I driving?”

* Tired of the relentless “Get Rich Quick” schemes that abound?

* Have you fallen victim to pyramid scheme after pyramid scheme in a fruitless attempt to realize your “American Dream” of becoming fabulously wealthy without earning it?

* Have you found attempts to swindle money from the unsuspecting public has left you high and dry?

If you have answered yes to one or more of these questions then you have been barking up the wrong road all this time…

The secrect of gaining fortunes is not in getting it quick, but getting it, period. That is why I have created a system of “Get Rich Slow” schemes that are guaranteed to make you millionaires!!! Yes, that is right, If you don’t become a millionare before you die, I will personally give you my entire net worth on the spot! That is how confident I am that these techniques will work. Levitra prescription Yes, my friend, the pot of gold that you have been searching for is here, read on:
GET RICH SLOW — The Basics
The most important concepts in the “Get Rich Slow” philosophy are the three C’s (Can, Coin, Couch), commonly refered to as the three “treasures” of getting rich. Once you have memorized and mastered these techniques you will never have to worry about money again…
$ THE FIRST TREASURE – One Word: “Cans”
Today’s world severely underestimates the value of turning in aluminum cans for cash. Some states will pay up to five cents per pound that you can collect, which is about the average weight in Coke and Pepsi cans that are used by a family of four in one month! Yes, that means every house on your block is a potential nickel in your pocket, every month! The average neighborhood may contain 90 homes, that is four dollars and fifty cents in your pocket per month! The untapped power of the aluminum can dollar is not yet even begun to be realized… but wait, you say that most families put their recyclable materials in those red or green recycle bins to be picked up every week… A true oportunist sees these little baskest as the golden goose! Go out there and raid those bins! Stick it to the man and take his trash, because that is money in your pocket!
$ THE SECOND TREASURE – Don’t spend those old coins, collect them!
Unknown to most people, the coins that you use every day may be twenty, thirty, even forty years old or more. As these coins age, their value goes up astronomically! A silver dollar from the turn of the century goes today for nearly $1.02 on the collectors market, and one from 1870 can go has high as $1.05!!!! Think what would happen if you began stockpiling your twenty and thirty year old coins now… In less than one century you will have all the cash you will ever need! That means no more fiddling with junk savings bonds, no more fear of spending your final years in poverty… You will be sitting pretty with your set of 1972 dimes, dimes that will make you rich! Whoever said the seventies never created anythign worthwile! They will make your fortune.
$ THE THIRD TREASURE – The City of Gold
The third treasure in the pursuit to get rich slow is the hidden gold mine that exists in everyone’s house, yes the living-room sofa. The average sofa can collect up to 12 cents from a single man’s pants… Some students of the Get Rich Slow philosophy have reported collecting SEVENTY two cents in an average week, merely from rummaging the couch after every guest… Can you believe those numbers??? This is no hoax, this system really works! The highest record reported so far has been one dollar and thirteen cents in a single night after a particularly successful party! With those numbers, how can you lose Purchase viagra ?
$ SUCCESS IS YOURS — Don’t Hesitate, Act Now, Reap Later
Don’t hesitate, go, go, go, and begin raking in your first pennies today and by the end of the year you will be skilled enough to make nearly fifty cents a day. With that earning power you will find yourself free to do all the things you have dreamed of: Buying food, collecting matches, becoming your own employee! Viagra prescription

Bill, Jim, and Scott  were at a convention together and  Levitra prescription were  sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper. Viagra prescription  After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.  Bill said to Jim and Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting.  I'll tell jokes for 25  flights, and Jim  can sing songs for 25  flights, and Scott  Purchase viagra can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill
stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing.  At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories.  "I will tell my saddest story first," he said.  "I left the room key in the car!"

Two years later the man comes back and goes to the same casino. Viagra prescription Purchase viagra This time he wins money. As he exits the casino, he sees a long line of Taxi drivers.. and at the end is his enemy from two years ago.

Seeing this, the man decides to get his revenge. He goes up to the first Taxi and says: “hey will you give me a blowjob?” the taxi driver says: “no you freak, get out of my car!”

The man then goes on to the next car and says: “hey will you give me a blowjob?” the taxi driver says: “no you maniac, get out of my car!” The man continues to do this all down the line until he reaches the last taxi, and sees his enemy.

The man asks: “how much for a ride to the airport?” Not reconising him the driver replies: “$5″ “Okay.” says the man and he gets in. Levitra prescription Then as he passes the line of other taxis, he sticks his hands out the window and gives them all a big thumbs up.

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. Levitra prescription

His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and t hen he fell asleep again. Purchase viagra

His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. Viagra prescription A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You’re cute!”

Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.”

She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”

His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”