My Stupid Acts

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An applic Purchase viagra ant was filling out a job application. Levitra prescription Viagra prescription

When he came to the question, “Have you ever been arrested?”

he wrote, “No.

” The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was “Why?”

The applicant answered it anyway: “Never got caught.”

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’ s final exam. Levitra prescription Viagra prescription Purchase viagra

“Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever.”

A smart ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, “What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”

The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, “Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. Levitra prescription Viagra prescription Purchase viagra The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks “What do two plus two equal?”

The mathematician replies “Four.”
The interviewer asks “Four, exactly?” The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says “Yes, four, exactly.”

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question “What do two plus two equal?” The accountant says “On average, four – give or take ten percent, but on average, four.”

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question “What do two plus two equal?”

The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says “What do you want it to equal?”

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. Levitra prescription

When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. Viagra prescription Purchase viagra

The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, “What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?”

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. Purchase viagra

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat
was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Levitra prescription Viagra prescription

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

A te acher w Levitra prescription as giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Viagra prescription

Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.”

“Yes,” the class said. Purchase viagra “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary positions the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”

A little fellow shouted, “Because your feet aren’t empty.”

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.

At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: ” Take only ONE. Levitra prescription Viagra prescription Purchase viagra God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the
table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, “Take all You want. God is watching the apples!”