My Stupid Acts

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A silly tourist asked a boat guy:

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do you know Biology, Psychology, Geography, Geology ?

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The boat guy said:

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NO to all the questions.

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The tourist then said:

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What the hell you know on the face of this earth ? You will die of illiteracy !!

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After a while, the boat started sinking, so the boatman asked the tourist :

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Do you know Swimology and Escapology from Crocodilogy ?

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The tourist said: NO !!

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The boat guy replied:

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Well you will Drownology and Crocodilogy will eat your Bodiology and you will Dieology because of your Badmouthology :

There was a man who worked all of his life and saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, “Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife.”
So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
Well, one day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said “Wait just a minute!”
She had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, “I hope you weren’t crazy enough to put all that money in the casket.”
“Yes,” the wife said, “I promised. I’m a good Christian, I can’t lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.”
“You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?”
“I sure did. I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check.”

southern town there was a “Nativity Scene” that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me.

The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets.

Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a “Quik Stop” on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, “You stupid Yankees never do read the Bible!” I assured her that I did, but simply couldn’t recall anything about firemen in the Bible.

She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said “See, it says right here, ‘The three wise man came from afar.’”

Some engineers are trying to measure the height of a flag pole.
They only have a measuring tape and are quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole.
It falls down all the time.
A mathematician comes along and asks what they are doing.
They explain it to him.
“Well, that’s easy…”
He pulls the pole out of the ground, lays it down, and measures it easily.
After he has left, one of the engineers says: “That’s so typical of these mathematicians! What we need is the height – and he gives us the length!”

Why do we sometimes write ‘etc’ at the end in Purchase viagra the exam?

Bcoz it means… .
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.
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E-End of
T-thinking
C-capacity.

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How to Create d Biggest Doubt in ur Wife’s Mind 4 u?

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Just Suddenly send her SMS Saying..

“I Luv u too” .

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GAME OVER.!

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When do you knw ur in love Viagra prescription ?
Ans. When you start searching for the cheapest mobile plan

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Wht is the Diff b/wYoung Age & Old Age?

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Simple..

In Young Age
Phone Is Full Of Darlings Numbers..

In Old Age
Its Full of Doctors Numbers..!-

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“Why is Facebook such a hit Levitra prescription ?
It works on the principle that-

‘People are more interested in others life than their own-!

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A Ques Asked In A Talent Test:
If You Are Married To 1 Of The Twin Sisters, How wud You Recognize Your WIFE?

The Best Answer
- Why d Hell Should I recognize?..

A couple of blond men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard.    One of the blond men walked in the office and said, “We need some four-by- twos.”

The clerk said, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?”

The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck.    He returned a minute later and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-fours.”

“All right.    How long do you need them?”

The customer paused for a minute and said, “I’d better go check.”

After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, ” A long time. Levitra prescription Viagra prescription Purchase viagra    We’re gonna build a house.”

A life long supporter of the labour party was lying on his death bed when he suddenly decided to join the Tory Levitra prescription party. Viagra prescription Purchase viagra

“But why?” asked his puzzled friend, “You’re labour through and through … Why change now?”

The man leaned forward and explained: “Well, I’d rather it was one of them that died and not one of us.”