My Stupid Acts

Archive for August, 2010

A rancher needs a bull to service his cows A rancher needs a bull to service his cows but needs to borrow the money from the bank. The banker who lent the money comes by a week later to see how his investment is doing. Levitra prescription Viagra prescription The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and wont even look at the cows. Purchase viagra The banker suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull. The next week the banker returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer looks very pleased “The bull has serviced all my cows, broke through the fence, and has serviced all my neighbor’s cows.” “Wow,” says the banker, “what did the vet do to that bull?” “Just gave him some pills,” replied the farmer. “What kind of pills?” asked the banker. “I don’t know,” says the farmer, “but they sort of taste like peppermint.”

Little Johnny rushes home from school. He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen. Levitra prescription Purchase viagra She says, “Put that away Johnny! You can’t have ice cream now. It’s too close to supper time. Viagra prescription Go outside and play.”

A young lady was driving through a built-up area at about 70 mph when she noticed a motorcycle policeman on her tail. Levitra prescription She increased her speed to 80 mph but the cop hung grimly on her tail. Viagra prescription She put her foot down and pushed the car up to 90, drawing rapidly away from her pursuer. Purchase viagra Suddenly she saw a garage up ahead and with a squeal of brakes she pulled up in the forecourt and dashed into the ladies’ toilet. Five minutes later she emerged to find the motor-cycle policeman waiting for her. With a sweet smile she said, ‘I bet you thought I’d never make it in time.’

Bill was playing golf one afternoon with his wife, Emma, and hit a nasty slice off the second tee – landing in an impossible lie in front of the greenkeeper’s shed. Being helpful, his wife suggested “No need to take a penalty shot darling, just open both the front and back doors and push the tractor out. Then, you’ll can hit hit it straight through the shed with a 3 iron.”

“Brilliant idea darling!” and with th Purchase viagra at, Bill took a mighty whack at the ball, which struck the rear of the building – bouncing off and hitting his wife in the head, killing her stone dead.

A few years later, Bill was plahing the same hole with his new wife… and by sheer coincidence landed at the exact same place in front of the shed. Levitra prescription

“No need to take a penalty shot,” said his new wife, “we can push the tractor out and open both sets of doors. You can hit straight through the shed!”

“No way,” he said. “Last time I tried that I ended up with a triple bogey!”

A dog is so smart that his master Purchase viagra decides to send him to college.
Home for vacation, his master asks him how college is going.
“Well”, says the dog, “I’m not doing too great in science and math, but I have made a lot of progress in foreign languages.”
“Really!” says the master. Levitra prescription Viagra prescription “Say something in a foreign language.”
The dog says, “Meow ! “